Stop Taking It All So Personally
We can change our lives simply and for the better if we take in and act from this key concept:
There is nothing to take personally.
What do we mean by this? Paradoxically, what we are pointing to is that what we each believe to be true, what we perceive, is always a prediction based on our past experience and is usually very, yes, personal.
It used to be that people generally agreed that the world as we perceived it was based on sensory input. What we see/feel/hear/taste comes into the brain where it is taken in, synthesized and responded to. The belief is that we are all taking in the same inputs and synthesizing them in more or less the same manner. Turns out that that model is exactly wrong. What happens in fact (this has been proven through multiple research studies and FMRI’s of the brain) is that the brain predicts what it expects to experience and sees that. What we each think is “reality” then is, in fact, a truckload of assumptions. This is called Predictive Processing.
Our brains are huge energy sucks, so evolutionarily it makes sense that we have learned to make assumptions or shortcuts. It also makes sense that we need to be able to quickly perceive a pattern (say big stripes on a large cat) and identify it as a threat.
Check this out:
“Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.”
So, yes, ctas puls sripets = tgier
**This is why, by the way, when you are proofreading text, it is good to read from right to left so that you aren’t assigning meaning to the words.
Fine, you say but that doesn’t hold true for much else, does it?
In fact, it does….
Take a look at these images.
Very similar, right? Not so fast:
We see what we expect to see.
Ok, fine you might be thinking…. but this is just in the visual realm. Nope. Here’s another example. Have you ever been walking downstairs and anticipating that each step would descend in a uniform fashion (based on your past experience of stairs) only to find that one is not? Or perhaps, you thought (because you were carrying something and couldn’t see the stairs) that you were at the bottom of the stairs when, in fact, you had one more to go? It’s jarring to say the least and sometimes dangerous.
This predictive processing is in play all the time. Usually, it helps us conserve brain power and helps us make sense of what is an extremely complex world. Unfortunately, because most of us aren’t aware that our brains are always predicting, always already anticipating, we don’t see how deeply and importantly this impacts our worldview.
Your past experience is different from mine. Imagine that you are going to a large gathering of people where you will be expected to interact. For some of us, this is a delightful prospect. For others, there might be just a little girding up necessary. We are each predicting and then acting from that prediction. Person A might walk in with a great big smile on her face and see groups of welcoming people just waiting to talk to her. Person B might walk in slowly, scan the room and see that everyone is already engaged in conversation. She might make a beeline for the bar.
How does predictive processing trip us up? First of all, unless and until we understand that we are all processing from different perspectives (which are “true” for each of us) then we will operate with a core level of misunderstanding about one another. Secondly, we will always be operating from a predictive position…. Never actually living in the fluid and undetermined present.
Living in an undetermined present and understanding that you can operate from within this space means that you can choose to NOT live this way. What came before does not mean that you are doomed to act accordingly. What you see is not always what you get.
This understanding gives you the freedom to transform.
Transformation starts with understanding that this “predictive” modeling behavior leads to all of our interpretations. Further that these predictions and interpretations happen “unconsciously”. This is concerning – essentially we are making decisions and taking action from the unconscious – always. What if you could know exactly what the formula is that is driving and creating all of these unconscious decisions and actions? Essentially taking them from unconscious to conscious? As human beings we cannot not interpret. It is how our brain protects us – predicting a likely outcome. The gold is found in identifying your exact formula that creates these unconscious interpretations - understanding that they are not necessarily the “truth” and then being able to take action from a new and powerful place.
It has been said “Don’t believe everything you think”
In the Renascence Program you will come to know exactly what your individual formula is – the one that creates all of your interpretations. But we won’t leave you hanging with a “ok so what now” feeling. We also offer you new tools to live your limitless life. Dropping the painful cycle of believing in one truth about yourself and others and into the possibility of making your impossible happen.
And if that is compelling? Reach out to us at renascenceprogram@gmail.com. Our 3-day Renascence Program is all about giving you the tools to transform; to move from what you once thought “true” for you to a new perspective where anything is possible.
The Dreams You Let Go
Remember what it was like to be a child with the sense that most anything was possible? When someone asked you what do you want to do when you grow up, you might have answered “astronaut” “poet” “doctor.” The compelling image of this possible you, shining in your eyes.
And then? Life. School. Maybe grades that didn’t ladder up to being a rocket scientist or a heart surgeon. Expectations. Maybe parents who discouraged you (gently and with humor but still…) from becoming a poet or an athletic coach or a teacher. People who said, “this path is not for you.” Slowly, experience by experience, your untrammeled dreams began to confront “reality.” What was and is expected of you? What disappointments and failures were you unable to move past? It all led to a life defined by what is possible for you. A narrower life than that 8-year-old might have envisioned.
We make tradeoffs when we hit obstacles. And while doing so, we begin to construct a life that we believe we can have. As David Byrne sang so well:
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife.
Remember the next line?
And you may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"
How you got here is what we at Renascence call The Compensating Power Principle. Every time you exercise your Winning Strategy (short definition: that structure you have created for yourself and that has created who you “are” that allows you to navigate the world in a way that allows you to survive and feel successful and whole – until it doesn’t. More on that here.) -- every time you call this deeply rooted, unconscious belief system into play, you move towards what you believe is possible for you and away from what is not possible. You strengthen your Compensating Power Principle, compensating for your belief that some opportunities, lives, careers, loves are possible for you and others are simply not. Every time you do that, you sharpen the perception that things are the way they are and you are how you are and so it shall ever be.
Science illuminates the concept further. Through the discoveries of neuroscience, we now know that the brain is not immutable, hardened for life. The concept of neuroplasticity, that the brain can change interconnections (neural pathways) and develop new skills and understandings, entire new ways of being over time works for us and against us. The neurons that fire together, wire together. I think therefore I am may have been Descartes’s foundational principle related to man’s consciousness, but it also holds true for our general state of being. If you think you are a crappy writer, you will be. If you think you always have to be in control in a situation, you will do whatever you can to make sure you are, even if it means turning away from excitement and joy and discovery.
Are you doomed to live a lesser life then? Not at all. The path towards rediscovery and reawakening of the bright young child who simply could not envision being held back, is in your relationship to your Winning Strategy. Rather than allowing it to define every interaction you have (and, once you discover yours, you will be amazed at its tenacity) your Winning Strategy becomes something you have, rather than it having you. At Renascence we work with you to uncover your Winning Strategy, establish a new relationship with it and tools for living fully into your new possibilities.
As Greg Thomas, Senior Vice President of Human Resources at Owens Corning and a past participant of the Executive Reinvention Program which the Renascence Program is based on said:
“Looking back, not reinventing myself would have been like living half a life.”
What are you waiting for? Contact us at renascenceprogram@gmail.com to learn more.
Who Are You Being?
Leaderships styles ebb and flow – do a search on the web for top leadership styles and you will see results like “charisma” “democratic” “transactional” “servant” and so on. You can tell a lot about the way individuals think about a topic by looking at what the related searches are to a specific topic. AKA the “people also searched for” section. In this case – “what are the latest trends in leadership?” “What is the leadership style in 2023?” “What is the modern leadership style?” and so on and so forth. You get the point. People are out there on the interwebs quietly asking themselves what type of leadership is required at this moment in time. Who can blame them? Most every leader we speak with is facing a new, disorienting world in which employees are letting them know that the old pre-pandemic ways just aren’t cutting it.
This goes beyond whether you let employee A work from home 3 days a week. It goes to the heart of what we, as a global community, experienced not so very long ago. Remember when we were in lockdown and watched that scary Johns Hopkins interactive data map showing the red spread of COVID across the globe? Remember when we thought to ourselves that it would be “over” in a few weeks and then we’d all go back to “normal” (whatever normal is). Remember when we sequestered our food outside in the cold for 24 hours and then wiped it down with Clorox wipes before putting it away? Okay, maybe that was just me. Here’s the thing. Everything many of us are lucky enough to take for granted – social connection, health, freedom of movement, safety – all stripped away in a matter of days. That kind of shock changes people. It reorients us toward what truly, deeply matters. It makes us ask the question (what we at Renascence call the Spice Girls Question) What do you want? What do you really, really want? Turns out it might not be the culture that was on offer at your company. And to be fair, this isn’t just your company – this malaise is a widespread phenomenon.
We are talking about people’s hearts and sense of connection. So, how do you lead your way through what is pretty squishy stuff? Of course, this all impacts your bottom line, your productivity -- but the answer isn’t to be found in spreadsheets. The answer? It is in your presence.
Stay with me. In fact, stay present. There is no more important quality in any leader than presence. Why is this? Turns out that people are pretty good at sussing out when someone is going through the motions. Ever been in a crowded room having a conversation with someone who is scanning the rest of the room for who else might be around? Or how about speaking with someone who is clearly waiting for their moment to make their point – who is listening only to speak their piece?
Or what about the leader or group of leaders who know the drill so well (you can call it alignment if it makes you happy) that they can operate on autopilot. Ever drive somewhere like your office, the grocery store, school pick up and wonder how you exactly got there? Auto pilot. Ever start a weekly meeting and find yourself listening to the same report out, the same personalities bringing in the same concerns and foibles? You are all on autopilot.
Leaders often make the mistake that if they just speak more clearly and more often that their message will get out there. They work with their senior leaders to develop Key Messages and Townhalls. Or, recognizing autopilotism, they “shake things up” - schedule a staff retreat or maybe do a reorg. It’s not enough. Not if your presence isn’t front and center.
What does that mean? Most definitions revolve around physical presence (something is present in the environment, your presence is required at an event) and, yes, physicality is important. But it is more. When you are with someone who is exhibiting true presence, they are connecting with you, looking at you, holding space for your collective interaction. You feel acknowledged, accepted and seen. And in that moment, you are building a bridge to one another.
Presence is about the exchange of energy. Are you talking outward, “at” someone, or inward, only really “to” yourself? These are both creating only one way energy.
Or are you truly present and communicating “with” others? This is two-way energy – a shared energy. It matters – that is if you truly want to communicate and create the future.
As a leader, this requires a serious amount of vulnerability and courage. If you are really “in it” with someone or a group of someone’s you are no longer in the me and you space, you are in the us space – where anything can occur.
No veneer. No fancy words. Just your commitment to the power of being right here, right now, in connection with others no matter the circumstances.
At Renascence, this presence work is a foundational element of our program. We guide you into presence – with yourself first and then, more broadly, with your life and world. We are requesting your Presence. Care to join?
“Everything is energy - that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want, and you cannot help but get that reality. It’s physics.” Albert Einstein
You Are Missing Something
Most of the folks we speak with are high-performing leaders. They know their business and their team; they are passionate about their work; they want to make an impact. They are, by all accounts, successful.
Yet many of them are leaving a lot of untapped potential within their organization.
How can that be? We just said they were successful. Here’s the thing. All of them (and you, dear reader) are operating within their Winning StrategyTM (WS). Your WS is what got you to where you are today. Unfortunately, in equal measure, it is also what is holding you back from being more (either in your professional or your personal life).
What these leaders don’t realize is that they are essentially operating with one hand tied behind their back. Most of us are. The internal constraints that tell you that something is not possible or appropriate are often tightly related to what you have already defined for yourself as how you can win in life – whatever that looks like for you.
Wondering if this is true for you? Well. Has everything you have tried worked for you? If yes, is it possible that you have chosen to only work on the things you know you can achieve? If no, is it possible that you may have set yourself up for failure in some way because, at your core, there is something telling you that this effort, this thing is not possible for you?
What have you avoided? What have you not taken on? What have you tried to achieve only to be denied?
Back to our successful leaders…. most of them, once we pose these questions will honestly say that yes, there are things that they don’t feel are possible right now and yes, they have taken one path over another because it fit with their world view. And yes (sigh) sometimes that world view is narrower than they’d like it to be.
Here's what one participant in the Executive Re-invention Program (which is the foundation for our work) has to say about his experience:
"For me the impact of the Executive Re-Invention Program has been immense. I think it gives you the freedom and the capacity to actually take on what you really want to take on with a level of certainty and assuredness that gives you a sense of inner calm but incredible power."
If this is true for the leader of an organization, imagine those limitations compounded over and over by each of the employees within that group. It gets worse. Because individuals don’t just operate in siloes, they form teams and task forces and run programs and initiatives which, if still defined by what is “possible”, never bust out of the self-imposed constraints. To some extent, most everyone in your organization is Living Small..
We aren’t saying it’s an easy fix to change these behaviors. What we are saying is that there is a way to become more deeply aware of it both within yourself and within your team.
The Renascence Program is a proprietary experience based on the highly successful “Winning Strategy” ™ methodology developed by Tracy Goss and Sheila Reid as well as science and evidence-based mind/body practices.
Reach out to us and we will take you and your team further than you thought possible.
Continuous Improvement Isn’t Enough Anymore
Continuous Improvement Isn’t Enough Anymore
If you are a leader, you have probably bought into the idea that continuous improvement is a good thing. It’s hard to argue with the fact that we want our businesses to grow, our personal lives to improve. So, sure. Let’s go with it:
Continuous improvement is a good thing.
There is a place for continuous improvement in our business and personal lives – it serves a purpose. Then again, the hamster thinks the hamster wheel is getting him somewhere too!
But is continuous improvement enough? Only if survival is enough. Think about it. You can be doing your absolute best, using every tool you have ever been taught, coaching your employees, making good, incremental changes only to find that someone else has made a transformational change to your reality. A change that could kill your business, even your category.
History is full of examples:
Take the newspaper industry (if you can even call it an industry anymore). When the web emerged, rather than embracing its possibilities, publishers doubled down on their cash cow classified rates (which their clients absolutely resented) only to find that Craig Newmark (Craigslist) had innovated them out of their core businesses. In 2013, Pew Research reported that more than 3/4ths of the newspaper classified revenues had been lost since 2000.
Those publishers were busily spinning themselves in circles, never bothering to look around at an already changed world.
Pretty sure this isn’t an appealing thought for any of us. Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and we can tell ourselves we will never fall into that same trap. And yet, our business change models and leadership develop programs are full of increments and safe bets.
Let’s look at some commonly accepted terms and options:
IMPROVE: Make or become better
CONTINUOUS IMPROVEMENT: Continuous improvement is an ongoing process of identifying, analyzing, and making incremental improvements to systems, processes, products, or services.
INNOVATE: Make changes in something established, especially by introducing new methods, ideas, or products.
By definition, you can only improve on something that already exists.
To transform something requires creating something new – that did not exist before and cannot be improved into existence.
Improvement, even continuous improvement or innovation are no longer enough.
At best you can maybe keep up – in business and in life. Another word for this would be survival. If that is all you aspire to – to survive – that’s fine, have at it. But more than likely you are looking at a life of continuous struggle to stay ahead of the threats that will show up at every turn. You will be running, like that hapless hamster, with little to show for it. Or scurrying like the prey from the predator – always looking over your shoulder for the next threat.
This is an exhausting life with little room for health, happiness, love and full self-expression.
There is an alternative way to live your life – professionally and personally – free from the bonds of circumstances dictating your life. A life where you create the future and take on what you once thought to be impossible for you.
If this sounds like a life and business you want – we have the answer.
Come to Renascence to learn what your future can be - and how to get it.
Set your sights here:
TRANSFORM: Make a thorough or dramatic change in the form, appearance, or character of
CREATE: Bring (something) into existence that did not exist before
Your life, your organization’s life will never be the same.
Learn more at renascenceprogram.com
Email us at: renascenceprogram@gmail.com
What is your Winning Strategy?
The Renascence Program is based on the foundational premise that everyone has a Winning Strategy. This is the way that you function in the world; it is what has made you successful so far. Understanding what your Winning Strategy is, observing the way you operate within its constraints and learning how to both acknowledge and move beyond it are key to transforming your relationship with the world around you.
“A Winning Strategy is a lifelong, unconscious formula for achieving success. You did not design this Winning Strategy, it designed you. As a human being and as a leader, it is the source of your success and at the same time the source of your limitations. It defines your reality, your way of being, and your way of thinking. This, in turn focuses your attention and shapes your actions, thereby determining what’s possible and not possible for you as a leader” - Tracy Goss, The Last Word on Power
When we work with individuals to help them uncover their Winning Strategy, we begin by asking them to consider three elements:
I listen for _______
So as to act by ________
In order to be, and avoid being __________
As a simplified example, you might be someone who listens for what expectations are, so that you can exceed them, in order to be successful and to avoid being perceived as mediocre.
Doesn’t sound so bad, does it? In fact, you could argue that that particular Winning Strategy has propelled many people to the top of their organizations. And yet, your Winning Strategy can and does hold you back. In the example above, an individual with this specific Winning Strategy will always be listening for expectations. Immediately, this becomes a narrowing of what is possible because it is always in reaction to something that has been defined by others.
So, your Winning Strategy has a dark side. To understand why, it helps to understand how you developed your Winning Strategy in the first place.
The Origin of Your Winning Strategy
At some point in our lives, we learned that there are specific expectations for how we move through the world. These parameters were imposed on us by our families, our environment, our culture and our own interpretations. We learned that there was a way things were done and we learned that there were things that weren’t done.
We all participate in this human condition which says that there is a way that things should and shouldn’t be. Our Winning Strategy is simply our way of making sure that things turn out the way they “should.”
Except, here’s the stinker…. we all know that life doesn’t turn out the way it should; that terrible things happen, that people often operate from threat/fear that things might go wrong if they take a risk – or even if they don’t take a risk. This threat/fear leads to resistance to change and to an underlying belief that we cannot change how we react to the world around us.
Resistance to change and a belief that we cannot rise above our circumstances leads to stagnation, anxiety, stress, and, if you are leading an organization of individuals who have not done this transformative work, as if you are pushing the same rock up the same hill (by yourself) only to watch it tumble back down.
At Renascence, before we begin the 3-day intensive program, we work with each participant to define their Winning Strategy. Then we give them time to see how their Winning Strategy operates in life. We ask participants to become aware of the ways that their Winning Strategy both helps and hampers. In fact, it is the examination of the “dark side” of the Winning Strategy where the real fun begins.
People begin to see how they have shut down conversations, ended relationships, left jobs and more because the situation didn’t fit with their Winning Strategy.
In our work with organizations, leaders will learn what their Winning Strategy is and do a deep dive into the pros and cons of it. Then we give them the tools to truly move beyond – to see that what was once considered impossible is only defined by their Winning Strategy at work. Nothing more.
But, don’t blame yourself for this – right now your Winning Strategy is the only tool you have – if it is a hammer, then, everything looks like a nail. You have no choice – we will give you a choice – a choice on how you can live a transformed life.
If you want to learn more about your Winning Strategy, reach out to us:
The Broken Bowl
At Renascence we are drawn to the image of a broken bowl, repaired along its seams with gold. This reparation and reconstruction is a form of Japanese art called kintsugi. It might seem counter-intuitive to use an image of a broken bowl as one that represents our work but here’s the thing…. it is a perfect metaphor.
Imagine dropping a favorite bowl or mug. We’ve all been there. We feel this moment of disbelief (how did I do that?) and then sadness (my favorite mug!) and then, maybe, acceptance – (well, there’s nothing to do but sweep it up and make sure there are no shards left for tender feet).
It’s a bit like how deep transformational work affects us. There’s before and there’s after. Before, we are operating – maybe not at our best, but we are doing “just fine,” living within the constraints we have built for ourselves. This is our solid, known self. In the context of Renascence (which means rebirth, by the way) we go through intensive work and confrontation with everything that we have always thought to be true. We break open. In the breaking, there is fear, sadness, vulnerability – all of it. And there can be a deep sense that nothing will ever be the same. In fact, perhaps, there is a feeling that you are so changed that you may not be able to be “yourself” anymore.
And this is the beauty of the kintsugi imagery. In the careful repair of the old bowl, the artist (that’s you) recreates an entirely new vessel. If you examine these bowls, you will see that the new creation is more beautiful than the old. At Renascence we hold our past, we pick it up and examine it, see the flaws and assumptions and we learn that we can do what we once thought impossible. We can lovingly piece together a new way, a new form.
That is Kintsugi. That is Renascence.